This isn't how parenting works. You don't tell me what I should and shouldn't be doing just because it's what your grandmother did. No disrespect to your grandma, I'm sure she's a lovely woman, as is mine, but all kids are different.
Sure inherently we are all the same. We need love, food, attention, positive reinforcement, to be taught right from wrong and some basic manners don't hurt. But really, the journey to how you instill all of those things into YOUR child, is to each his own.
What works for me, a rigid routine of meals, homework, clean up and bed time, may not work for you. Or the fact that I let my children have 3 hours after school each day to do whatever they please before this rigid routine goes into play, is absolutely abhorrent to most parents I encounter. But like I said it works for our household.
We also aren't firm believers in the word chores. Scoff if you will, but we don't use that word in our house and everything still gets done when asked. How, you might ask and the answer is simple. We ask. With a please, and a thank you after task is complete. Now I'm not saying our kids don't grumble and groan like the rest of them. We don't have robot children, but we do have kids that know they have to play a part in the household up keep or else it all goes to shambles.
I'm not trying to say that my method is the way to go, but I'm also saying, maybe yours isn't for me. And that's alright. If your household runs at a functional level of happiness and order, then you're doing something right. And by right, I mean whatever works for you.
I believe that most people mean well when they're doling out parental advice. What's worked for them if they are parents. What all those be successful parenting books have told them if they're becoming parents. Or even the ever well loved childless friends that seem to always know what's up. But at the end of the day, no one really knows jack shit until they're knee high in puked on baby clothing with a toddler that won't sleep anywhere but on them or in a swing that has to run all night or you never get any sleep.
The struggle and balance of parenting is a tricky one folks. There are no magical answers, and some how everything you thought you knew goes out the window once you're there. Sure there's always sound advice on safe toys, the best swing, easiest pak n play to use (those things are trickier than they look), which car seat is the safest, and you should always take that advice into consideration when buying something new.
But whether or not you let your kid have a pacifier back that recently fell on the floor. Or letting your kids wear pajamas all weekend if you're staying in. What time to feed your children. What time to put your kids to bed. WHERE to put your kids to bed (maybe you're a co-sleeper). What you're feeding your ever picky 9 year old that only likes white foods. All these things, they're up to you. No one can tell you what's going to work best for you. No one can step in and say you're doing it wrong. Because guess what?
If you're child is happy, healthy and thriving, then you're doing it right. And that is something to be proud of. Hang those sloppy but cute finger paintings. Relish the moments your child hugs and kisses you when they're small. Embrace the endless questions of why, because one day, they will cease and your child will know everything.
Remember to always take what other people have to say about your parenting skills with a grain of salt. They're not there 24/7 raising your child. And no one knows better than you. Even when you feel like you're doing it all wrong, know that the rest of us are too.
